I've been meaning to do a Halolz edition for the Rules of the Internet, but racc beat me to it. So, I'll finish what he started and tweak the grammar as needed. The original rules can be found over at YattaroSB's DA page. People who were credited with rule ideas will be credited in the comments because I can't think of them at the moment...
The rules will eventually be rearranged to make more sense.

EDIT: Rules were tweaked slightly. A major revamp is on the way.


1.- Cock joke
2.- THIS IS NOT…
a) 4chan
b) Furafinity
c) SPARTAAAAAA!
3.- First is last
4.- The king is a retard… LONG LIVE THE KING!
5.- We came for the lolz… we stood for the double entendre
6.- If you’ve been around for a week, you’re already invited to hell
7.- Be ready for everything (eyebleach is always recomended)
a)LESBIAN ANHTRO MUDKIPS!!!
b)KIRBY UNTOONED!!!
c)ZIPPOCATS!!! (not really...)
8.- Questions about tickets to hell shall be directed to Nick Soapdish
9.- Study your memes
10.- Praise the Falcon
11.- MMMPH MMPH HUDDA HUH!
12.- Flame wars are for polite people and trolls
13.1- ?????
13.2.- PROFIT!
14.-
15.- Can't let you do that 14th rule!
16.- Troll sapping mah comment!
17.- Halolz is a site for lolspeak pics submitted by the grammar police
18.- When in doubt, use FALCON PUNCH!
19.-Motivationals: don't repeat what the picture said!
20.- Motivationals are good when they don't repeat what the pic says!
21.- Hey! Listen! Press Up C to view rule No. 20
22.- Navi is the cause of all of Hyrule's problems.
23.- Louis is not addicted. He can quit peelz anytime! Just not right now...
24.- E-PEEN is useless but to sword fight
25.- If it is disturbing, they'll mention lesbian mudkips/Paulrus
26.- Having an account doesn't make you awesome
27.- Awesome avatar is awesome
28.- There ARE girls here...but they won't give you their numbers
29.- *post 29 ragequited*
30.- No one reads all comments after the 30th one
31.- But you, mister "too much free time"
32.- Comment streaks were made to be broken! (except Still Alive)
33.- A great commenter makes a pun
34.- If it exists, there is porn for it. NO EXCEPTIONS!!!
34.A-If porn cannot be found, it will be made.
34.B-There is furporn for it. No exceptions.
35.- A good commenter says it's opinion
36.- A bad one fights
37.- A troll breaks t
h
e

p
a
g
e
38.- We are ERROR (Damn you Existentialism!)
39.- It uses Harden and then the Stringshot! (Metapod reference)
40.- If you call Professor Oak, He'll come as fast as he can
41.- If you can name all pokemans you have no life
42.- Do want Toastie?
43.- DO NOT WANT!
44.- I see what you did there
45.- Now do it to me
46.- _____ in mah Halolz?
47.- It's more likely than you think!
48.- Free ______ check!
49.- If it's good it'll top "Meet the spy"
50.- Until someone notices it topped "Meet the spy"
51.- We're friendly... unless you're a troll, then we go for a witch hunt!
52.- Futurama references make everything better
53.- Colonel Obvious is always FIRST!
54.- No one is safe from Badonk's stabbing
55.- TCC's buns are delicious and moist
56.- Shawn has no Halo but has a Halolz
57.- Daifuku. Need we say more?
58.- Masterluigi lieks Luigi (screw mudkips)
59.- Plan your submissions to be funny in 3 months
60.- If all else fails... use fire
61.- If that doesn't work... FALCON PUNCH!
62.- All Submission that clearly use MS Paint are always fail, but the comments are pure gold.
63.- MOOOOOVIEEEEEE MOOOOOOOONDAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!!
64.- Halolz: Your premiere source for eco-friendly and recycled videogame screen captions
66.- NEEDS MOAR REFERENCES!
67.- Gmod is like a drug: it's great until you get too much of it
68.- Every joke is a diguised wolf joke
69.- E-PEEN PRIDE!
70.- WILL DANCE FOR +1s!!!!
71.- We got musical talent...who knew!
72.- New meme is old!
73.- Samus's crotch is ALWAYS a trap
74.- If you're going to post a comment with a pic, be ready to go to war with Badonk
75.- No matter what you say, there's alway a way to make it sound wrong
76.- Halolz's traditional drink is Falcon Punch. And over 9000 year old Scotch.
77.- It was a great pun... but not the right moment
78.- It's always too soon
79.- Lets face the truth: It's not funny
80.- If it has a scout, there'll always be a BONK reference
81.- Nagging about your submissions never killed anybody, so stop it
82.-In Soviet Russia, joke makes you
83.-One epic comment can kill all others
84.-Objection! > This is SPARTAAA!
85.-Wolf > Kanye. No exceptions.
86.-We have had it with these mother fuckin ____'s in our mother fuckin ____'s!!!
87.-Pokeyman jokes are SUPER EFFECTIVE!!!
88.-This snake...is most solid.
89.-All coments deemed epic shall be awarded with internets and TCC.
90.-MechaHeavy is a phallic. Nothing more.
91.-Gordon Freemen may not know how to talk, but he knows seven kinds of whoop ass.
92.-You can never divide by zero. Your head will implode from the effort.
93.-Any number on Halolz is either divided by zero or OVER 9000!!!!
94.-Fear the Zippocat Bomb. It has destroyed greater men than you.
95.-Respect the Meme Laser. It is every meme known to man divided by zero.
96.-The cake wasn't a lie?!
97.-So I herd you liek mudkipz?
98.-You herd wrong.
99.-The internet makes you stupid.
100.-The internet makes you moar stupider!
FIRST!